Page 5

JAMIE

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Savannah?

” Gripping the redhead’s wrists, I push her off to hold her at arm’s length.

Turning my face as she keeps dipping closer, her lips seeking mine.

Shuddering, I push myself away from her, but the wall behind me stops me from getting too far. “Are you drunk? What the hell?”

Savannah tosses her long red hair over one shoulder and gives me a smug smile that churns my stomach. She’s always been trouble, but, until tonight, it’d been directed at other people. Not me.

“Awww, J, you know I’ve always had a crush on you,” she says.

This is the first I’ve ever heard of it. I didn’t smell liquor on her breath, but she has to be messed up to try this. “Okay, whatever, but why the hell did you just try to kiss me? You know I’m with Oakley.”

“I like an audience, what can I say?” Winking, then glancing over her shoulder, Savannah laughs.

My stomach twists and sinks as I move her out of the way, already knowing what I’m going to see. “Oakley! Wait!”

Savannah grabs at my sleeve as I try to run after my girlfriend. “Let her go. I promise you’ll have a much better time here with me than that stuck-up Montgomery princess.”

Ignoring her, I pull my sleeve from her grasp and chase after Oakley. She’s almost through the barn doors, but I catch up to her in a few long strides, praying to god that I can make her see reason.

My fingertips skate along the bare skin of her shoulder as I grab for her. Oakley whirls away from my touch. Crying and shaking, she puts her hands up like she’s trying to shove me away. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Oakley,” I say helplessly. “Baby, please. It wasn’t what you think. She kissed me . I didn’t want her to.”

“Fuck you, Jamie Walker.”

Flinching, I take a step back from the fierce sound in her voice. I’ve never heard her talk to anyone that way, much less me. I take a deep breath and soften my voice, trying to make her listen to the truth. My head whirls with dismay, like I’m drunk, although I haven’t had a drop.

“I was waiting for you—” I begin, only to be quickly cut off.

“To do what? So I can catch you making out with that bitch?” Oakley snaps, face twisted in a sneer as hysterical laughter escapes her. The sound reminds me of bottles breaking.

“I wasn’t making out with her!” I snap. My voice raises slightly louder than I want it to be. I glance around praying that no one is listening to our conversation. Taking a step closer to her, I reach out to touch her again, but she pulls back. “Please, baby. Can’t we talk about this?”

“Oakley?” Phoebe must’ve come looking for her best friend, and now she’s stepping in between us with her hands up. “Jamie, back up. What happened?”

Listening to the muttered explanation coming out of Oakley’s lips, I realize how bad it all sounds. How terrible it must have looked. I want to explain that I’d just been minding my own business, but as I start to protest, Phoebe jabs a finger at me.

“Why don’t you just shut up, Jamie? You’re only upset because you got caught,” Phoebe accuses. Putting her arm around Oakley, who won’t even look at me. “How long have you been cheating on Oakley with Savannah?”

“I haven’t been! Tonight was the first…shit, the only! Damn it, I wasn’t making out with her! I would never cheat. Oakley, baby. You have to believe me.” Desperate to get her to look at me, I try to get past Phoebe.

It’s useless.

Oakley’s best friend is fiercer than any guard dog. The two of us have always gotten along, but her loyalty is to Oakley, not to me. She won’t move, and of course, I’m not going to shove her out of the way. Though I sure as hell want to.

My shoulders sag as I accept that this night has gone totally off the rails.

There’s nothing I can do right now to get her to believe me.

And of course, Savannah is watching with pure amusement as the entire scene unfolds.

Her voice carries through the night air as I turn to see her talking to one of her friends about what happened.

Only to give me a small wave once she sees me looking.

Fucking spiteful bitch.

When I turn back to Oakley, my heart breaks.

Watching the girl I love with tears streaming down her cheeks is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to witness.

Every part of me wants to pull her in, comfort her, and apologize like crazy, but it won’t help.

Nothing’s going to fucking fix this shit hole of a mess I’ve fallen into.

“Do you really want everyone at the party to hear this?” I quickly ask Phoebe when I notice too many eyes turning in our direction. “At least let’s step off to the side back here. And keep your voice down.”

“You don’t tell me what to do, and she doesn’t owe you anything.” Phoebe spits out. “You fucked up Jamie… Like royally fucked up. And after?—”

She stops mid-sentence, but the way her eyes widen into a glare as her nostrils flare and her lip curls back into a sneer, I realize what she’s referring to.

Without a word, Oakley turns and goes around the corner of the barn, away from the bonfire area. The shadows are deeper here. The sounds of the party are quieter. I can still hear laughter and music, but at least here we’ll have some privacy.

Or, at least we would if the guard dog, Phoebe, left us alone.

Muttering, she keeps herself between us.

It’s clear she has no intentions of abandoning her friend.

A stab of anger sinks into my heart. I’ve never given Phoebe any reason to think I’d betray Oakley, but obviously, she’s more than ready to believe I would.

Oakley stays behind her. Still not looking at me. Ducking her head, her shoulders heave with the sobs that slice me over and over again.

“Baby.” I sound like an idiot, and that’s how I feel. Like the biggest asshole to ever live.

How did I end up in this situation? Minding my own business, going over in my head how I was going to convince Oakley that she had to leave Skyview Falls and go to New York City, even if she didn’t want to.

I was planning out the words that would let her know I’d love her no matter what, but I couldn’t let her give up the chance to make something of herself.

I would have told her that my way out was to travel the circuit, but that it didn’t have to mean we’d be apart.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice Savannah sidling up to me, not until she practically had her tongue shoved down my throat.

“I’m sorry, Oakley. You have to believe me,” I say, my voice helpless and broken.

The moment I say the words aloud, I realize that I’ve fucked up again. Big time. Oakley hears that apology and thinks it’s an admission of guilt when all I was trying to do was tell her how much it hurt me to see that I caused her any harm.

“You should be,” Phoebe grits out while Oakley remains deadly silent. “Everyone knows Savannah Ward’s been doing her best to become a buckle bunny forever!”

Wincing at the unflattering slang term, Oakley finally says something. “Pheebs. Stop.”

“Not until you get him to admit it,” Phoebe snarls. “Chet just told me all about Jamie joining the circuit. You deserve to hear the truth right out of his ugly mouth!”

Frowning, I face her. “Admit what? I already said I wasn’t?—”

“Savannah’s been hanging around the rodeo circuit long enough.

There’s no way you didn’t know she’d be ready to step up the second you left.

Did you think you’d just be able to trade Oakley in for someone new while you’re off traveling all over the place?

Was she just supposed to sit at home and wait for you? ”

Oakley’s eyes finally meet mine and my heart sinks. This isn’t how I wanted her to find out. That’s why I was so distracted that I’d let Savannah even get that close to me.

It’s clear by the sadness in Oakley’s gaze that she already knew.

I broke her heart more than once tonight. I knew it was going to be hard to make her see how important her future is, and how going on the circuit would be best for us in the long run. I never pictured this look on her face, how she thinks I’ve betrayed her.

“Pheebs, I need to talk to Jamie alone,” Oakley says finally.

There’s no relief for me in those words, though. Her voice is distant, not a hint of warmth or love the way she usually sounds when she says my name. Speaking like a robot, emotionless and dead inside… Because of me.

“I’m not leaving you alone with this asshole.”

“Please.” Oakley’s brows knit, twisting her expression just enough that Phoebe lets out a heavy sigh of reluctance

“Fine, but I’m waiting for you right inside those doors.” She points, giving me a long, hard look that promises me a world of hurt if I so much as breathe the wrong way.

Glancing backward over her shoulder, Phoebe makes her way toward the barn doors and disappears inside.

And as much as I’m glad she’s gone… It doesn't settle the uneasiness inside me. My eyes shift back to Oakley as I wait for her to speak first. Though I’m not sure I have the words I need to reply to her.

“I thought you said you weren’t going,” she finally says. Her voice surprises me with an edge of calmness that I wasn’t expecting.

“I never said,” I tell her, admitting at least one level of dishonesty. “I just let you think it.”

Her shoulders go up. Her jaw sets. This is the Oakley I’ve only seen a few times, determined and angry and ready to kick up a fuss.

I’ve seen her brother Bo get her that riled up, and a few times her little sister Maggie, too.

I’ve even known Oakley to vent a little bit in private to me when her dad was particularly stubborn about something…

But she’s never turned that furious expression on me.

I’d admire it if it didn’t scare the shit out of me.

Watching her mouth work as she starts to find her voice, I brace myself for what’s coming. Because it’s going to be bad. Really bad.

“You should wipe off your mouth,” she says with a sneer. Her eyes skating over my face like she’s looking at a pile of cow shit. “I’d never wear that ugly shade of lipstick.”

Heat floods me as I scrub at my mouth with the back of my palm. It comes away stained with red and churns my guts. I’d jerked my lips away from Savannah’s the moment I felt them touching me, but apparently, not fast enough.

“How could you?” Oakley holds up her hand before I have the chance to reply. Voice breaking. Whispering. “Never mind. I don’t want to hear your stupid excuses. I just can’t believe you’d lie to me, Jamie.”

“I didn’t lie,” I start, trying to make her hear me.

“Letting me believe that you weren’t going is the same as telling me you weren’t… Same as telling me you l-loved me… When obviously that was a lie!”

I want to take her in my arms and cradle her against my chest. Wipe her tears away. Kiss her lips until she smiles again. But there’s no way she’s going to allow that.

“I do love you, Oakley. And I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t tell you that I’d decided for sure about the circuit because I didn’t want to ruin your birthday.”

“Well,” she says with a wobbly, tear-streaked smile, “I’d say you certainly managed to ruin it, anyway.”

After that, I’m not sure what there is left to say. We stare at each other, neither of us speaking. My throat hurts from trying not to scream that I was only trying to do the right thing.

Instead, I keep my voice as soft as I can. “I’ve never lied to you, Oakley. No matter what you think. But what about you?”

She looks at me, eyes narrowing slightly as she shakes her head. “What about me?”

“You’ve never told me what you finally decided, either.

” I hate myself for sounding so mean, but I can’t help it.

This night has been turned upside down and inside out.

Just like my entire life. “What Phoebe said. About you waiting around for me. Did you decide for sure you weren’t going to New York? ”

Despite everything I’ve told myself about how important the chance is for her, I can’t hide the hope in my voice when I start to think that maybe she decided not to go.

But by the way her chin goes up, lips pressed together in a thin, grim line, I realize that she isn’t going to tell me what I want to hear. The girl I love is gone, replaced by a robot that looks like her but could never be her.

“I’m going to NYU,” she finally replies. Her voice is cold and distant as she lets out a heavy breath. “And I never want to see you again.”

Before I even have time to process what she’s said, she turns on her heel and stalks away from me as if everything we shared over the last three years meant absolutely nothing to her. As if I meant nothing to her.

Eight seconds is all we get on the back of a bull… It took even less time than that to end things with the only girl I’ll ever love.