Page 4

“Wow,” my father’s thundering voice says as we reach the bottom of the stairs. His usually dark eyes are calm and watchful when he glances over at me and Phoebe. “You both look beautiful.”

Phoebe gives a little spin while I roll my eyes and step in to give him a small hug. “Thanks, Dad. We better get going.”

“I know, I know,” he replies, walking with us toward the door. “I just hate knowing that you’re going to be leaving the ranch soon. I wish you would reconsider and go to the college nearby. I don’t want to part with you yet.”

Phoebe's eyes meet mine for a moment, brow raised as her lips part. But I quickly shake my head before turning to my dad with a smile. “Yeah… Well, my education is important. I’ll be able to come back and help on the ranch in all kinds of ways.

He mumbles something I can’t hear as he holds the door open for us to walk through. “You girls go have fun… stay out of trouble, though.”

The moment we step outside, the cool Montana air hits me in the face.

The setting sun casting orange glows across the sky as the sound of laughter and music drift toward us from the far end of the property.

“Oh my god, there are so many people here,” Phoebe exclaims, a smile stretching across her face.

“I know… I wasn’t sure how many people were coming.”

Despite the amount of people here, there is only one person I’m ready to see.

As we make our way toward the old brown barn with a silver tin roof and yellow-strand lighting that stretches from the double doors out the makeshift patio, I contemplate how things are going to change.

A pleasant shiver of heat tickles up and down my spine when I spot the place where Jamie and I had parked to make out last night.

His hands running all over me, our mouths open, tongues stroking.

What we have is so much more than sex, though. It’s love .

And I don’t want to give it up just to go far away from home for college.

I’ll miss Jamie, but also my family. My best friend, Phoebe.

I love visiting my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Ricky in New York City, but as exciting as the big city can be, I’m always ready to come back home.

Can I really survive at NYU for four years?

“Happy Birthday, Oakley!” A few girls from school shout as Phoebe and I approach the barn. Their smiles radiate across their faces as they compliment our dresses and tell me how awesome it is my parents allowed me to have this party.

More like my mom… My dad didn’t have much of a choice.

While the girls all chat amongst themselves, I take the time to scan the barn’s big open space.

Strings of fairy lights and balloons in gold and black decorate the entire area, along with long tables that are set up at the barn’s far end, groaning under the weight of the platters of food.

My mom, of course, went overboard, as she always does.

Her motto has always been: “If you go home hungry—that’s your own fault. ”

At the forefront of it all is a DJ, already pumping dance tunes while a few people line the outside of the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the barn.

But no matter how hard I look, I can’t find Jamie. My friends are all here, though. So’s Bo, sent by my parents to “keep an eye” on us all, but he’s probably going to be the one getting us in trouble.

“Staying out of trouble?” he asks, sliding up to me as he knuckles my arm like the annoying big brother he’s always been. His tall looming figure overshadows me as it always does. He got his over-six-foot height from our father while I got my petite nature from our mother.

“I always stay out of trouble,” I reply, rolling my eyes.

“Not what I heard.”

Darting my gaze to him, wide and in shock at his words, I gasp. “What the hell have you heard?”

He doesn’t know about last night… Does he? I mean… we weren’t that loud.

Oh god, were we?

Laughter flows from his lips as he wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me in close with a shake of his head. “Things are going to be different with you gone.”

“Why do you say that?”

Stepping away from me, he shrugs before turning his smile on me once more. “We’ve always done everything together, and now you’re leaving for New York. Guess it means I have to find a new wingman.”

“Come on guys, let’s go dance.” Then he’s off to greet some of his friends, pulling a random girl onto the dance floor as the party starts ramping up.

My friends and I follow as we take to the dance floor, music blaring and laughter as people join us.

It’s exactly how I wanted my night to go.

Until I’m sweating from all the fun, and taking to the drink station to rehydrate myself.

“Happy Birthday, Oakley.”

Turning, I smile at Chet Johnson, a guy from my brother’s grade who looks like he should be on the sunny beaches of California with his shaggy blonde hair and board shorts.

Since Bo and I are only thirteen months apart, a lot of my brother’s friends are kind of like mine too.

Hugging me, he gestures at the decorated barn.

“Another great Montgomery family party,” he says. “I think I saw Bo around, right?”

Tipping my chin back toward the long table piled high with bowls of chips and drinks and party platters, I grin. “By the food, obviously. Help yourself. Mom went overboard with it.”

“Oh, hey,” Chet says almost like an afterthought, stepping away but stopping himself. His faded blue eyes narrow for a moment as if lost in thought. “I just wanted to say, it’s pretty awesome how cool you’re being about it all.”

“The…party?” I ask, furrowing my brows in confusion. It isn’t like we’ve never thrown a party out here before, and I know for a fact that he’d gone to those.

Chet laughs, shaking his head. “Nah, about J. The circuit? Me and him go way back, you know, and I think it’s great that you’re not hassling him about it.

My girlfriend is losing her mind. She thinks I should quit, go off to school or something, but I told her that bull riding is my future. J’s, too.”

“What are you talking about?” I question, brows furrowed in confusion.

“About you supporting J joining the circuit, of course!” He laughs, shaking his head. “Bo said you were the smart sibling.”

Rolling my eyes, I shrug off the last of his comments, trying to contain my emotions. “Speaking of Jamie… have you seen him anywhere?”

“Yeah, for sure,” he replies, glancing around as if searching for him before his eyes meet mine again. “I think I saw him back there somewhere when I came in. Out near the bonfire. But hey… gotta catch up with your brother. You two don’t have too much fun!”

As I watch him walk away toward the table Bo’s currently at, I can’t help but shake with anger, my mind going numb at the thought of him lying to me. Was he just waiting for my birthday to be over? And out of all the ways… I had to learn it from Chet.

Furry consumes me. I want to shriek or pound my fists against the old barn floors until my hands are full of splinters. Just this morning, we’d been together, and he hadn’t said a word about finalizing his decision. Now I find out from someone else that he’s signed up and is leaving in a few weeks?

When was he going to tell me?

In all the years we’ve been together, Jamie and I have hardly ever had a disagreement, much less an actual fight. I don’t want to fight with him now, I just want to know if he’s decided something so important without me.

Chet has to be wrong, right? Jamie would never do this to me. Once I tell him I’ve decided not to go to NYU, we’ll work all of this out and things will be perfect again.

My friends reach for me, trying to pull me back into the circle of dancing.

Ducking them, I weave through the group here to celebrate and head out the barn’s double back doors.

Scanning the area by the bonfire, my eyes take in the lights strung along the outside of the barn that is supposed to make all of this look beautiful and magical.

I wish everything back here was in the pitch black, though, because what I see is something worse than any nightmare I’ve ever experienced. Worse than finding out he lied to me about the circuit.

Chet was right. Jamie’s back here. Leaning against the barn’s outside wall, one long leg crossed over the other. Head bent, shadows from the bonfire cascading over him in flickers of black and gold and orange.

Kissing Savannah Ward.

Her auburn hair glistens in the firelight as she leans over him.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t pretend that I don’t see that her hand isn’t on the front of his favorite shirt, the one I bought him for his eighteenth birthday.

The girl who’s been after my brother for years has her hands all over my boyfriend.

Still spinning, the entire world beneath my feet flies out from under me. I stagger back into the shadows so he can’t see that I’m watching. I can’t look at this anymore. Her hands on him. The soft sound of her mocking laughter. Tossing her hair, she leans over him to press her mouth to his.

I’m going to be sick. I’m going to scream. I’m going to allow the ground to swallow me whole, let it fill up my eyes and mouth, covering every part of me so I can become nothing more than dirt.

Because that’s what Jamie has just made me. Nothing more than dirt under his shoes. Worse, under Savannah’s shoes.

Turning to run back through the barn, numbness rushes in and consumes me, until I can’t see, hear, or feel anything except the sound of my heart breaking.