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Dear Aunt Rita,

I know this update has been a long time coming.

First of all, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for answering my very confused query back in last year’s February issue. I know you get thousands of letters, so I didn’t even expect a reply, and never one so soon after I sent it.

But you did answer…and you changed the course of my life.

After I read your advice, I decided to invite my falcon friend over for dinner. By this time, she’d also dropped an entire cheese basket in my arms, so I decided to make cheese fondue. I know it’s old-fashioned, but it always seemed fun to me—and I had a LOT of cheese.

When she came over, she seemed nervous—and she’d brought me a giant bag of fresh green apples. So after we watched a movie and had fondue, we decided to make midnight apple pie.

And then, well, it was too late for her to go home, and I had so much food to get through…and…we’re getting married in six months’ time and would be beyond honored to have you attend the ceremony.

We did already mate but I’ve always wanted a wedding, complete with a huge white dress and lots of flowers, the whole romantic thing, and my falcon mate is happy to be married as well as mated—she says it just makes her mine twice over.

She’s my best friend in all this world, and she’s even talked her older brothers into flying past before the reception to drop chocolates into the guests’ hands as wedding favors.

We’re enclosing the invitation in hope. But even if you decline, know that you are the reason for our happy ending.

With grateful thanks and all our love,

~Soccer Fiend & Falcon Foodie

Dear Soccer Fiend & Falcon Foodie,

My dears, you have made this crotchety old lady shed a tear. I shall be at your wedding in all my finery, never you fear.

I also expect cheese fondue.

With love,

~Aunt Rita

—From the March 2074 issue of Wild Woman magazine: “Skin Privileges, Style & Primal Sophistication”