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Forgive me, Adam, that I couldn’t bear to allow you to stand witness to my descent. I couldn’t stand for you to see me that way.

I want you to remember me as that girl in the hallway, as the woman you showed pleasure beyond pleasure under the Canyon, as the lover you fed little morsels in bed.

Sugared almonds and plum chocolates, popcorn coated in lemon meringue frosting and baked, tiny and sharply salty preserved prunes…I never knew such things existed.

I feel your grief at all whom you’ve lost, and I’m so sorry to add my name to that list—but don’t mourn me, Adam. I’m free now. Your wild bird in flight, my mind whole and my spirit no longer locked in a cage of reconditioning.

At last, I’m Eleri again.

—From the mental draft of Eleri’s farewell letter (5 a.m. today)

Eleri woke to the knowledge that she’d lived a lifetime yesterday…and to the awareness of a strange buzz at the back of her once more psychically active brain. The thoughts of the clan, pouring through psychic barriers so thin that they would tear sooner rather than later.

It didn’t matter that over three quarters of the population of the Canyon had natural shields—at this level of psychic sensitivity, the merest suggestion of a thought was enough to create pressure on the brain.

It would only get worse from here on out.

But she had enough time that she was able to have breakfast with Adam.

He’d asked her to stay through the night with him, and she had.

They’d shared their bodies again in that way that made her feel whole for a pulse in eternity, then lain on their sides facing each other, and he’d told her stories of his childhood, of how he’d learned to fly, and the pranks he’d pulled on the ferociously loving sister who’d grilled Eleri the day past.

Saoirse Garrett was strong, opinionated, and loyal in the fiercest way.

Eleri had expected the other woman to hate her, but Saoirse had frowned for a long time after they met, looked from her to Adam, then sucked in a gulp.

“What are you playing at, Bear?” She’d slapped him on the arm, the action far too light to do any actual harm.

“You just forget to tell me she’s your mate ? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Chuckling, Adam had squeezed his angry sister close even as his eyes met Eleri’s over Saoirse’s curls. See , those eyes seemed to say, she senses it, too, the potential between us—it’s worth it, Eleri. Take the chance. Jump into my arms, into my world.

And despite knowing she literally couldn’t open to the mating bond, Eleri had wanted to attempt it, wanted to jump into his arms and hold on, forget that her brain was in the process of its final evisceration—and that all that would remain of her in a few days was a screaming nothingness.

Today, as they ate in the privacy of his rooms inside the Canyon, she drank him in with an unquenchable thirst. She’d watched him deep in the dark hours, too, after she woke too soon.

She’d been glad of her insomnia for the first time, because it gave her time to just look at Adam while he rested, his lashes dark shadows on his cheeks.

Who, she’d allowed herself to think, would they have been to each other had they come together the first time they met?

They’d have grown together, become together.

Would she have laughed with him as Saoirse had laughed after her initial shock?

Would his niece have jumped into her arms in excited hello as she’d jumped into Adam’s?

Would she have become so familiar to the fledglings that they’d think nothing of landing on her arm or shoulder?

Then she’d let the dream float away, where it couldn’t hurt her in the morning light.

Now, she tried every small bite Adam offered her but tasted little because her attention was on him, and she kept on lying that one lie that made her an oath breaker.

Today, she’d go to the inn with the excuse of removing all her security devices, and use the time to make sure those who’d carry on her work would have all the data she’d collected.

It galled her that she hadn’t finished her last case, but she couldn’t be sorry for helping Jacques, or for the time she’d had with Adam. The task force would be in Raintree late this afternoon, so she’d done that at least, brought the team here, to the killer’s home ground.

The team was excellent, and now that she’d led them here, she had every confidence that they’d find the Sandman. She knew Adam wouldn’t let go even if, for some unknown reason, the task force failed.

This was his territory, his to protect, his to shield.

She planned to send him a time-delayed message with her Sandman files so he’d have every piece of knowledge at her disposal.

That done…she’d drive out. It’d be hard to avoid falcon eyes en route, but she’d planned it down to the wire.

She’d tell Adam she was going to meet an associate, would be back by darkfall.

All aboveboard.

She’d also write him the letter she’d already composed in her mind in the silent hours before dawn, telling him exactly why she’d made the choice she had.

She’d add that letter to the time-delayed message.

And she’d hope that one day, he’d find room in his wide-open heart to forgive her one final time.

“Come on, we’ll go grab your security equipment,” Adam said after breakfast. “You can work as well from up in the Canyon—your computer’s still locked up in the car, safe and sound.”

Eleri’s mouth was dry but her resolve unshakable under the weight of the whispers at the back of her mind, the awareness of the bulging inward of her translucent telepathic shields. “I’m driving out to speak to a profiler associate of mine today.”

Adam frowned. “You sure that’s safe?”

“Adam.” A soft rebuke, a reminder that she’d walked this road a long time.

He scowled but didn’t argue. “When are you planning to leave? I’ll join you on the wing after I clear up a little clan business.”

“Probably in a couple of hours,” she said, certain she could get far enough out and lost enough in that period to throw him off the trail.

Adam nodded. “I should be able to join you an hour after you start out.”

Too soon, far too soon.

Eleri twisted and turned her plan in her head, knew she could still evade him if she went at speed. “Is it all right if I visit Jacques before I leave?”

“I was planning to drop by anyway.” A deep smile. “I’m hoping I can harangue him into waking.”

While that didn’t work, Jacques did look far better than the last time Eleri had seen him. His skin glowed with health, and his physical readings were excellent. When she brushed his hand, she sensed only the same wildness as Adam. “His shields are fully operational.”

“Good. Now, wake up, you asshole, so I can introduce you to my mate,” Adam said before they left.

Eleri waited until Adam stepped out to chat with Naia for a moment to lean down and whisper, “Watch over him, Jacques. He’s going to need you in the weeks and months to come, so wake soon, and watch over him.” She wished she could stop her mate’s pain, wished she could turn back the clock.

But those gifts she couldn’t grasp from destiny’s cold arms.

All she could do was hope that those who loved him would make sure he didn’t fall in the aftermath of her death.

“Eleri?” Adam’s body in the doorway, his hands on either doorjamb. “Ready to go?”

“Yes.”

···

Adam left her at the inn with a press of his lips to her temple that made her stone tears turn to stabbing shards.

This man, good and kind and with a heart as huge as the sky that was his home, would forgive her anything.

And she was about to brutalize that heart.

Because if she didn’t, she’d destroy it, destroy him, and devastate the clan that looked to him as their strong, loving center.

Acting on autopilot, she checked her files were updated and loaded to the correct systems. She didn’t bother to remove her security devices after all, and in doing so was able to bring her departure time forward by at least forty-five minutes. She wrote her letter to Adam, set the time-delay email.

And was done.

You promised you’d never lie to me.

She rubbed a fisted hand over her heart at the words she knew he’d say to her if he knew her plans, the ache a dull throbbing. And she was glad she couldn’t feel the full strength of it, because this, it was bad enough. “I’m sorry,” she said aloud as she went to walk out the door.

Her phone buzzed.

Glancing down, she saw it was Adam. And the same instincts that had led her to this town turned her blood to ice. “What’s happened?” she said as she answered, her nails cutting into her palm and her mind a glacial field.

“Malia’s been taken.” His voice was clipped, hard, determined. “Left the Canyon at eight to attend a breakfast picnic with her friends. An hour into it, they turned around and she was gone. We tracked her scent to the parking lot.”

This is because of me.

If anything happened to Malia…“Send me the location. I’ll meet you there.” And hope she could hold back Exposure long enough to find the beautiful, bright girl raised in happiness who’d never touched darkness until Eleri led it straight to her.

···

“She’s on the way,” Adam said to Dahlia, who stood at the top of the path that led to the grassy picnic area in Raintree. The best tracker in the clan due to her unique genetics, the wing-second had already flown a wide circuit and failed to pick up any trace of Adam’s niece.

Rather than wearing her out by having her flying aimlessly, Adam had asked her to return in the hope that all of them working together could narrow down the search area.

Another member of his clan was keeping watch on the site from above.

Detective Beaufort and Deputy Whitten had been on shift at the time of the call and were already doing interviews with everyone who’d been in or around the park at the time, with Hendricks scheduled to join them after he’d caught a few more hours of sleep post his recent night shift.