Page 38

MARGOT

I can’t take my eyes off the water.

For several seconds, it’s still. There’s no sign of either man.

Then Luka pops up. Alone .

“No,” I whisper to myself, covering a hand over my mouth. After a quick breath, Luka dives beneath the water again, leaving me in suspense.

“Please,” I whisper again. I don’t know who I’m begging. Luka, I guess. Maybe God.

Please save him .

The blood seeping from Arseni’s abdomen is stained into my mind as I watch and wait.

I hate it. I hate every second of this.

I’m just standing here.

I’m doing nothing .

My toes hanging over the edge, I suck in a breath and prepare to dive in, but I stop myself before I can fall forward.

I can’t save him like this. I don’t even know that I’d be strong enough to pull him to shore.

Whipping my head toward the cop car, I rush that way and fling open the door.

What’s something an officer should always have on hand?

A fucking first aid kit.

The sound of splashing water yanks my attention toward the gap in the bridge, but I force myself to ignore that too.

He’s alive.

He’ll be okay.

I have to believe that.

Papers fling as I rip apart the glove box only to come up empty.

I check the back seat, though after only a second my head tells me it wouldn’t be there.

I check the center console, search the storage space in the doors, even go to the trunk and rip up the carpeted base to find a spare tire.

“Where the fuck is it?!” I scream, slamming my fist on the base of the trunk. I run back to the backseat and check the seat storage before my eyes finally land on the floorboard. I know it’s there before I even check. A box about a foot long is neatly tucked beneath the driver seat.

I yank it out and sprint to peer out at the water. My heart beats fast in my ears with every step. It feels like a moment of truth. A reality that will shape the rest of my life.

I see Arseni’s head above water with Luka swimming him to shore.

Hugging the first aid kit to my chest, I let out a cry of relief and sprint to where Luka is headed. He’s pulling Arseni onto the muddy bank when I get there.

“Arseni!” I scream as if he could ever hear me. I throw the kit down as I dive to his body, my nails digging into mud.

Luka starts compressions on his chest while I caress his face, muttering things not meant for Luka’s ears. I don’t back off when he pinches Arseni’s nose to perform mouth-to-mouth.

“Is he okay? Is he gonna be okay?” I blubber, which Luka rightfully ignores. He doesn’t look panicked, which I tell myself is a good sign. But he doesn’t look relieved either.

“Arseni, please .” I pat his face as if that’ll wake him up. With a few more compressions, water shoots from his mouth, his chest lifting off the ground, and he takes in a sharp gasp.

Luka falls backward, his arm shielding his eyes. The guttural sound he makes is filled with relief.

“Arseni,” I say, rolling him onto his side.

He looks me in the eyes and combs my hair with a dirty hand. “Are you okay?”

I smile but just let out a cry in response.

Luka gets back up and rifles through the first aid kit. Arseni’s eyes scan him, but he doesn’t look surprised.

“Luka saved you.” Arseni moves back to me, his eyes hooded. The memory he shared with me of the first time he met Luka pops into my mind, and I wonder how much déjà vu he must be feeling.

“You came for me,” I whisper, caressing his face while Luka applies pressure to his abdomen.

“I need to call an ambulance, okay?” I nod encouragingly though I must look like I’m answering for him. “I’ll be right back.”

“No.” He grips my hand when I turn. It isn’t as firm as it would normally be, but it’s strong enough that I feel my chest unwind.

“It isn’t safe.” He cringes against pain. His voice is gravelly like it’s hard to talk. “No one can know.”

I glance at Luka, but he isn’t looking at either of us. He’s intently attending to the wound. Or pretending to. I don’t know what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t look like he thinks he’s a hero.

What happened between them?

“Arseni, you could die .”

I watch for reason to come over his expression. For the seriousness of the situation to occur to him. But all he does it stroke my hair.

“I love you,” he whispers.

I don’t know if it’s a distraction. I don’t know if he’s telling me this just so I’ll accept whatever consequences come of this.

But he means it. Looking into his eyes, full of affection I’ve been yearning for my whole life, I know for certain that he means it.

“I love you too.” I roll my lips into my mouth, holding in a cry.

“Help will be here soon,” Luka interjects.

“What?” Arseni lifts up to look more pointedly at his friend. “No. No, Luka, she can’t be here. She’s…” Instead of finishing, he looks at me. “You have to hide.”

“Margot’s safe,” Luka says. “I promise.”

Arseni’s gaze moves back to him, his eyes squinting. I don’t know if he’s suspicious or confused.

I watch Luka’s serious eyes, the sound of a car horn approaching not breaking either man’s focus.

“You go down, I go down.”

Arseni’s eyes close at Luka’s words. He places a hand over his eyes while his face scrunches. It takes me a moment to realize he’s crying.

When he goes to sit up, Luka helps him and throws an arm around his back. As the two men hug, I watch with an emotional smile curling my lips. Perhaps it’s irrelevant by now, but a heavy feeling of… forgiveness… washes over me. Forgiveness for myself.

Because I know in an instant that I didn’t leave Arseni without a family way back when. That arrangement was never supposed to work out.

He was born an orphan, but he has a family. And now, I do too.

“I’ve got you,” Luka says, patting his back. “ Always .”