Page 15

ARSENI

S he really does have a beautiful pussy.

Leaned back in a patio chair, I stare at the pink flesh, shadowed by Margot’s skirt that bunches above her waist. Her knees are pulled up and spread on the glass tabletop to bare herself for me like a good little whore.

I think I’m having too much fun.

Roscoe’s whine pulls my eyes beside the chair, and I grab the tennis ball from his mouth to toss it.

He’s slower than normal but lucky to be alive.

If Nikita finds out I’m keeping him here, he might not be as lucky.

Nikita won’t be back tonight, though. It’s Thanksgiving night, and as ill-fitting as it seems, the guy is a family man.

He left after his big lunch for the annual three-day camping trip he takes with his nephews.

That just leaves me and Margot… And Roscoe, for now. Fox and Zinovy think the guy who trashed our place is an old friend turned enemy of Fox’s. They’re out searching for him now, and until they take care of the guy, Roscoe is with me.

I throw the ball once more then pull out a cigarette and light it up, the flame giving just the tiniest bit of extra light. Enough to see Margot flinch, her erratic breaths skating with a sob she fights.

She looks pissed, her eyes staring off into the dark of the garden, anywhere but on me. She’s proud . But smart. I like her fight. It’s cute.

Pulling the cigarette from my mouth, I puff out smoke and stare at the orange glow on the tip of the stick.

“Did you know the foster dad you booted me to put a cigarette out on my stomach?” I finger my shirt. I can’t feel the marred flesh beneath my touch, but the phantom burn could never let me forget its exact location.

The guy’s image coming into my mind makes my gut twist. With what, I don’t know.

He’s dead. I killed him years ago, so I don’t think I can say it’s fear.

More like … shame, maybe. Shame I let a pussy hold me down.

Shame I was weak enough to sneak food to begin with. I should’ve let the fucker starve me.

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?” Margot deadpans.

I blink. For a moment, I forgot she was even here. Forgot my point.

“Feel sorry for me?” I pause as if I’m pondering that. “No. But you should know the consequences of your actions.”

I take a drag of the cigarette and lean forward to put my lips close to Margot’s pussy. The baby pink ripples as she clenches, and if I leaned any closer, I could feel it. It’s chilly outside, but I bet she’s warm.

I blow smoke against her hole, watching it dissipate against her.

Her thighs quake, but she doesn’t close them.

She’s been especially obedient since I told her I’d kill Roscoe if she acted up.

I’m a little offended that she believed me so easily.

“Truth is, it was so long ago, I hardly remember what it felt like,” I lie, lifting my gaze to her face.

She doesn’t look at me, just keeps her head turned watching nothing. Roscoe whines again, but I ignore him.

I flick hot ash against Margot’s thigh, watching her face as she gasps and twitches. “Do you know what it feels like?”

Her chest shakes, but she doesn’t look at me nor say anything. I don’t want to burn her. Not really.

But I want her to beg. My face feels harder than it did, my shoulders wound with tension. I don’t want her to feel sorry for me. That would be pathetic, especially under these circumstances.

But I do want her to be sorry.

“You think I don’t know what pain feels like?” she asks, her voice wobbly. “You talk like you’re the only person in the world who's ever been wronged.”

I lounge back and lift my feet onto the table, my shoe close enough to Margot’s pussy, I could nudge it with a light stretch.

“Are you gonna give the ‘I was in the system too’ speech? Because frankly, you overdo it. It doesn’t make people feel connected to you. It makes them think you’re delusional.”

“Delusional.” She stutters out a laugh. “Okay.”

“You didn’t go in at birth, and you said you were adopted in what? Like two years?”

“Yeah, Arseni. You’re totally right. It shouldn’t count at all.”

“I’m just saying…” I shrug as if this conversation is relaxed, but I feel anything but.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be unwanted.

You have two sets of parents who passed away, and I’m sure that was very hard.

But at least you had them. You can’t relate to the unpicked litter. You should stop trying.”

“Okay.” She nods, a little too fervently.

Her voice holds anger, or maybe just frustration, but either way I watch bravery bubble out of her.

“You’re right, I had parents, and most of them loved me.

I feel grateful to have been adopted and was heartbroken when Sam and Georgia passed.

Sure, I’m a thirty-five-year-old woman who’s never been married, but you’re right, I can’t relate to your terrible, terrible misfortune of being unwanted.

I can’t imagine what that must feel like. ”

I flick ash and prod my tongue against my cheek. I don’t like how sarcastic she sounds, but I’m trying not to let it charge me.

I should just let it go. She isn’t trying to be insulting. She just doesn’t fucking get it, and that’s okay. No one does.

“What university did you go to, Margot?” I ask when I can’t stop myself.

She scoots back on the table and closes her legs. I don’t even protest. Her pussy isn’t as appealing right now.

“Berkeley. Where’d you go, Arseni? Harvard? Yale?”

“I went to sleep in the tunnels, hugging a baseball bat so tightly people called me Baby Ruth. Because when I left high school, I didn’t have people to drive me off to a dorm. I got a goodbye from the government and a good riddance from every adult I’d ever known.”

“Wow, that must have been really hard.”

I drop my cigarette to the ground before I burn her with it. When Roscoe goes to check it out, I grab his collar and don’t take my eyes off Margot.

“How do you feel about the smell of Pine Sol?” she asks.

I narrow my eyes and don’t respond. Pine Sol?

“Because I can’t smell the stuff without having a panic attack.

I fainted once, in Home Depot, because the chemical smell reminded me too much of a kitchen sink cabinet, which is where I was hiding when my father stabbed my mom twenty-six times while I listened to her scream.

I bit my hand so hard it bled while he searched for me.

The sound of a shotgun blowing his brains on my mother’s dresser was what told me the coast was clear. ”

Her eyes shine in the moonlight as her voice shakes. Looking away, I cross my arms as my chest tightens.

“When they took me away, I had nothing but a backpack full of clothes and a photo my mother had drawn for my lunchbox. All her work, gone. All our photos, destroyed. I had one thing left of the only person in the world I cared about, which to you, must make me so lucky.”

I turn back to her at those words to see tears streaking her face. She trembles with emotion that surrounds me, opening my mouth like it’s trying to crawl inside. I don’t know what to say, but I also don’t want her to talk anymore.

This was too much. Too personal. Too… I don’t know.

“You think I don’t understand the pain that comes with being unloved, but you don’t know the pain of losing someone. And you never will because you’re a cruel, hateful bastard who doesn’t deserve love. Maybe that makes you the lucky one.”

“That’s enough.”

“Oh, is it, Daddy? You don’t want to play anymore?” She hops off the table and shoves my legs so I bring them to the ground. She shifts between them like she’s going to straddle me, but she just stares me down.

“I said that’s enough , Margot. You made your point.”

She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so.”

I shift in the chair as she lowers to her knees, dragging the handcuffs under her feet so her hands are in front of her. “I get it, Arseni. I do. You wanna teach me a lesson . You’re so mad that I didn’t want to fuck you before, so you’re getting even with me now. Here, let me help.”

When she grabs my cock through my pants, I shove her hands away. “Jesus Christ, calm down .”

“Calm down?” she asks, her eyes wide, crazed .

I feel my eyes widen as well. “ Yes .” It’s embarrassing how uncomfortable I feel, seeing Margot like this. In my mind, she’s a bitch who ditched me the same as everyone else. That’s what she’s always been in my mind. Even before she gave me the boot, I knew it would happen.

They’re all the same to me. All nothing but disappointments. Barely even human, more like collages making up one being. The only thing that makes Margot stand out is how badly I want her pussy.

I don’t empathize.

I don’t relate.

I don’t give a shit.

That’s the way it needs to be.

Roscoe nudges my leg like he can feel my unease, his whining returning.

Margot leans into me, crazy eyes never leaving mine. When she speaks, it’s an angry whisper. “Okay.”

She flings her hands toward mine, and I don’t understand why until it’s too late. The orange glow of my cigarette, dimmer now but still scolding, presses down hard on the backside of my hand. My eyes widen, and I inhale a yell that doesn’t leave my mouth until she’s sprinting away.

“Fuck!” My hand shakes as I bring it to my face, inhaling burnt flesh. I clench my jaw as my neck inflames to the same degree as my hand.

I don’t immediately move, instead glaring at where she disappeared inside the garden. It isn’t until I remember the electric fence that my eyes pop wide, and I take off after her.