Page 21

Chapter 21

Only One Condition

R aewyn

Eventually, I did sleep in the bed but only after fretting over Pharis’ hasty departure for an hour or two.

I kept thinking he’d return to the cottage at some point during the night, but he never did.

The morning sun was shining brightly through the windows by the time I heard him at the front door. Rushing to let him in, I opened the door and then almost dropped from shock.

Pharis was there alright, but he wasn’t alone.

He carried my father in his arms. My wide awake, very much alive father—and Papa was looking at me.

Though the scars around his eyes remained, I knew the moment I saw them that they were seeing me too.

He was seeing me for the first time in four years.

“Raewyn,” he said in a wonder-filled tone. He wore a huge smile. “My little daughter has become a woman.”

“Papa, can you really see me? Are you really healed?”

The most I’d hoped for was that my father would live and be free of pain. It had never occurred to me that the healer’s skills might also restore his lost eyesight.

“I see you,” he said. “I see everything. Where are the girls? Pharis, son, set me down please.”

Pharis’ brow creased in concern. “You’re not ready to walk yet, Wyll. Solfrid said—”

“I know what Solfrid said… rest, don’t push it, don’t try to do too much too soon.”

He pointed at the table. “Just set me in one of those chairs if you don’t mind, and I’ll try my best to obey that miracle worker’s instructions. But I don’t want my daughters to see me carried about like an infant.”

Obeying his request, Pharis took my father to the table and placed him in one of the straight-backed chairs. Papa’s back was straight as well, even more so than it had been after Sorcha applied her magical pain cure.

He looked almost like his pre-Rebellion self, vibrant and healthy and whole. He even looked younger.

I had a feeling this cure wouldn’t be temporary. Hopefully it would come with fewer strings attached as well.

Tindra and Turi, who’d been brushing their teeth and washing their faces and hands in the basin in their room, ran into the living area. Their eyes bugged out when they saw the only father they’d ever known looking so well.

“Papa! Papa!” they both shouted, rushing to climb onto his lap.

He held them there with ease, one girl perched on each sturdy leg. His eyes filled with tears as he looked them over, and so did mine, observing the sweet scene.

It was the first time he’d seen Turi since she’d been a babe in arms, and he’d never seen Tindra looking this grown up.

She was four, Turi’s age, the last time he’d seen her. Now at eight, she was taller and much more mature looking.

“Oh girls,” he said. “You are just beautiful, both of you. Just like your mama.”

Though he and the girls’ mother Inge had both been married to other people before the battles, they’d of course seen each other around the village frequently.

“Papa, can you see us?” Tindra asked in a tone of awe.

“Are your eyes fixed?” Turi asked, leaning forward to get a look at them directly.

Like me, Papa had brown eyes with a hint of green. They were sparkling now with pure joy.

“They are fixed,” he said. “And so is my back. The healer said I should rest and shouldn’t travel right away, but I already feel like I’m twenty again.”

My hands went to my chest, crossing over each other as if trying to hold in the overflow of love and relief pouring from my heart.

Tearing my eyes away from my family, I looked for Pharis. He stood leaning his back against the wall with one foot propped against it and his arms folded over his chest.

He was smiling, watching my father with the children, and the sight shook my already unstable heart.

I stepped over to join him, speaking quietly. “You did this. It’s all because of you.” I had to take a moment to tamp down the burgeoning emotion before adding, “I can never thank you enough.”

He shook his head as if dismissing my gratitude. “You saved my life back in the meadow. We’re even now.”

“No. We’re not.”

I stepped closer and touched his arm, and Pharis acted like a shock went through his body. But he didn’t move away.

“You have protected and saved me again and again,” I said. “You’ve gone far above what anyone could reasonably expect of you—including your brother.”

His dark brows pulled together, and his smile faded.

“I didn’t do this for him. I did it for you.”

Clearing his throat, he added. “And your family. They’re like family to me now, too. Once your father is fully recovered and can properly care for the girls, maybe you can start having a life of your own.”

“But I don’t want—” I started to argue out of habit, but the words died on my tongue as what he’d said sank in.

A life of my own. It had never been in the realm of possibilities before. Was it what I wanted?

When we got to our new home, wherever that would be, I would no longer be a dowry-less burden but a woman with means of her own.

I would no longer be needed day and night by a father in too much pain to keep up with two active little girls. A life of my own would actually be possible, though it was hard to imagine at this point what it might entail.

Looking away from my father and sisters, I met Pharis’ serious gaze again.

“Thank you,” was all I could think of to say. “Whatever my life holds from this point onward, you have made it immeasurably better.”

For a long moment, our gazes held, and then Pharis began moving toward the door.

“You can thank me by taking some time for yourself today,” he said. “This cabin is stocked with food, it’s clean. There’s nothing you have to gather or prepare or fix.”

I blinked as a wave of unfamiliar ease came over me.

Shaking my head, I said, “I can’t even imagine what I might do by myself with free time.”

“Well then I’ll use my imagination,” he said. “As I have had an abundance of free time throughout my life, I’ve become something of an expert in indolence.”

He flashed me a mind-erasing grin before adding, “I’ll return in a while to fetch you, after you’ve had time to visit with your father.”

I was a bit breathless when I said, “I’ll be ready.”

Pharis returned a few hours later, knocking at the door.

I opened it to see he’d bathed. His long hair was still damp. I was grateful I’d taken advantage of the cottage’s indoor bathing room myself.

“Hello,” I said, smiling. “Would you like something to eat? I’ve just given lunch to Papa and my sisters and was about to eat something myself.”

“No, thank you. In fact, I’ve come to invite you to take lunch with me .”

“Where?” I asked. Did this village have a boarding house that served meals?

Pharis smiled. “You’ll see.”

Leaning into the doorway, he waved hello to my family. “Can you all spare her for a little while?”

Papa was sitting at the table, reading aloud to the girls from one of their books. They all smiled and waved at Pharis.

“Go on and have fun. We’re fine here,” my father said.

I shrugged and laughed. “They’re fine here.”

It felt strange to say it.

As I left the cottage with Pharis, a sense of lightness filled my body to the point it seemed my boots barely connected with the ground.

Papa was reading to the girls. He could help take care of them. It wasn’t all on me.

“You look happy,” Pharis said, his smile reflecting my own.

“I am happy. You saw him—Papa really is healed. The girls are rested and well.”

Shooting him a side glance, I said, “And someone is taking me to lunch… somewhere?”

Pharis laughed. “Patience, patience. We’re almost there.”

We’d been strolling through the idyllic village, past its pristine storefronts and homes, their window boxes overflowing with colorful blooms, toward its most striking feature, the waterfall.

It was majestic, cascading from a high cliff and forming a fluffy white veil against the gray rock. The sound of the rushing water was somehow soothing and exciting at the same time.

The meadow bordering it was decorated by wildflowers and the flutter-bys who visited them. I’d never seen a more picturesque setting in my life.

As we drew closer to the falls, I spotted a blanket spread on the grass on the other side of a rise. A handled basket sat atop it. It hadn’t been visible from the main road.

I sidled a glance at Pharis and grinned.

“What have you been up to?”

He chuckled. “You ask that as if I’ve done something naughty. I’ve just been visiting the local food purveyors and supporting their business efforts.”

“That’s a very large basket,” I observed.

“I’m a very supportive guy,” Pharis said. “And you have a large appetite. I discovered that when you inhaled my supply of raff and left me to go hungry in that cave.”

I pushed at his arm. “I did not.”

Stumbling a few steps to the side, Pharis laughed loudly now. I hadn’t heard that magical sound since Turi had commented that he seemed “tame.” It lifted my spirits to new heights.

The sunshine, the smell of spring flowers, the soothing sound of rushing water… rarely in my life had I ever experienced such a feeling of rightness.

Though we’d spent the past few weeks on the run from danger, this beautiful village felt like the safest place in the world, and this sunny day here with Pharis a moment out of time.

The feeling of wonder and ease persisted as we lowered ourselves to the blanket warmed by the sun, and Pharis withdrew a bottle of wine from the basket. Two glasses followed.

As he extracted the cork, Pharis said, “Elven wine is far superior to the human-made version, but Solfrid assures me this one is close.”

“Still such a snob,” I teased him. “Even when you’re being magnanimous.”

Filling a glass with sparkling liquid, he handed it to me.

“And your vocabulary still shames me and reminds me I should be reading more. I assume ‘magnanimous’ is something good?”

I smiled and accepted the glass, sniffing its fragrant contents before taking a sip.

“It is. Very good. Being magnanimous means being especially kind and generous toward a less powerful person.”

Pharis took a sip from his own glass and kept his head bent to let the edge of it linger at his lips. His brilliant cyan eyes raised to meet mine.

“You have your own kind of power, Wildcat.”

For some reason, a chill passed through my body. It wasn’t necessarily what Pharis had said but the way he’d said it, his voice low and intimate sounding.

I gulped down a swallow of wine and forced myself to smile though I felt a bit shaky inside.

“You sound like my mother.”

He winced. “Not what I was going for. But she was right. Are you ready to eat?”

“More than ready,” I said. “I’m starved.”

“Then let’s eat.”

Pharis got to his feet, drawing a long cloth from his back pocket. “There’s only one condition.”

“What?”

He’d invited me to share lunch with him. What kind of condition could he possibly have in mind?

“That you allow me to surprise you.” He walked around to a spot behind me, kneeling on the blanket behind my back.

“What are you doing?” I asked as the long cloth appeared in front of me, and Pharis proceeded to place it over my eyes.

“Blindfolding you.”

His tone was matter of fact, as if this was some normal occurrence in his life.

“Why would you do that?”

“For a smart woman, you don’t listen very well,” he said. “To surprise you. I want to see if you can tell what you’re eating without seeing it first. I went to a lot of trouble to find… interesting food for our lunch.”

“I’m not sure if I like this,” I said.

He chuckled. “You haven’t tasted anything yet. I promise… you’ll like it.”

“No, I mean—”

Pharis cut off my protest by inserting a bit of food just past my lips. Suddenly, I didn’t want to talk anymore.

The flavor burst on my tongue. Sharp and tangy, it was some of the best cheese I’d ever had.

“It’s cheese,” I said.

“Yes, but what kind? Our kingdom boasts at least a thousand different varieties of cheeses.”

“All I know is that it’s not goat cheese.”

“I don’t give points for negative guesses,” he said.

“Um… red rind?” I said, naming one of the soft cheeses I’d tried with Stellon.

“It’s sweetbutter,” Pharis corrected. “Next one.”

My luck in the game only went downhill after that. Time and time again, Pharis fed me foods I had no hope of identifying.

“Can we stop?” I asked after failing to recognize a bite of exotic fruit. “I want to look at the waterfall.”

“Just a few more. I don’t want you to stop on a losing note. I promise the next one will be easy,” he said.

The next bite was salty and savory, mouthwateringly good.

“I’m sorry, I have no idea what that is,” I said after chewing and swallowing. “Some kind of fish maybe?”

He laughed. “You really are exceptionally bad at this game.”

“Well maybe you should have played it with someone whose palate is more sophisticated then.”

I hadn’t been able to keep the note of snippiness from my tone.

Pharis didn’t respond for a long moment.

“I have no desire to play with anyone but you, little Wynn,” he said finally.

With the blindfold on, I couldn’t see his expression, but that shiver-inducing tone was back in his voice.

“One more bite,” he said softly, “And then I’ll let you enjoy the sights.”

I nodded, feeling almost mesmerized. In that tone, he could instruct me to do pretty much anything, and I’d gladly comply.

“Open up,” Pharis said, and yet another shiver went through me, tickling my back and lifting all the fine hairs on my arms.

And then something sweet came into contact with my tongue. It had a solid texture that turned creamy and melted as I chewed.

Chocolate. I’d first tasted it in Stellon’s suite. This chocolate was even finer somehow than the royal chef’s. Or maybe it had been too long since I’d tasted some.

“Mmmmmmmm,” I hummed, and a smile of pure bliss spread across my face. “That was sooooo good.”

Licking my lips, I asked, “Can I have more?”

There was a sharp intake of breath. And silence.

“Pharis?”

I started to reach for my blindfold to lower it to see what was going on, but Pharis pushed my hands down and grabbed my face, his big hands cradling my jaw.

For a second I could feel the heat of his breath against my mouth.

Then his lips were on mine, hot and soft, and more delicious than any of the delicacies he’d fed me.

Heat blasted through me, as if a bonfire had been lit while I was standing far too close. My mind was spinning almost as fast as the sensations racing through my body.

Pharis was kissing me. And I was loving it.

The exciting feelings from our sparring match rushed back, and new ones were added to them with every maddening sweep of his tongue.

All of it together was creating a throbbing demand in me—to get closer to him, as close as I could manage to get.

Reaching for him, I caressed his face then slipped my hands into his thick hair. It was cool on the surface but enticingly warm underneath.

With an urgent, growling sound, Pharis wrapped his arms around me so tightly I thought he might crush me,

And then suddenly, he was gone.

His mouth, his arms, his glorious scent and body heat. All gone.

I yanked down on the blindfold, blinking at the sudden onslaught of sunlight.

Pharis stood with his back to me, facing the waterfall. His shoulders were heaving with his heavy breaths.

Scrambling to my feet, I went to him and touched his arm. He jumped as if he’d been struck by lightning.

“What happened?” I asked.

Keeping his eyes on the rushing water, he wore a grimace. “I’m sorry. I… forgot myself for a moment. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I disagreed, but Pharis was clearly unhappy.

“Why did you?” I asked in a small voice.

Now he looked at me, but then his gaze fled again, avoiding mine as he answered.

“It’s been a… long time since I’ve… had wine. Or kissed someone.”

Neither of us had consumed enough wine to serve as a believable excuse. But he seemed to be looking for one.

“How long has it been?” I asked, unable to contain my curiosity.

“Since the Opening Night ball. I’ve been… busy since then.”

He hadn’t kissed anyone else since we’d met.

My part in that timeline probably held no significance, but my heart was racing anyway.

“I overheard your father talking with Stellon about how… difficult it is once you’ve reached bonding age to go without… intimacy.”

Pharis’ gaze came back to meet mine. “That’s not the reason I kissed you.”

“Oh?” And now my curiosity soared exponentially higher along with my heart rate.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Pharis barked and turned away, striding back to the picnic blanket. “I’ve apologized already. Let’s leave it at that and finish our lunch.”

Well okay then. He obviously regretted kissing me and wanted to forget about it.

That would be an impossible task for me. I’d be reliving it for a long time to come—perhaps forever.

Though the kiss had been brief, it had affected me powerfully. And when it ended far sooner than I would have liked, I realized I had been secretly hoping something like that would happen with Pharis.

Was I a horrible person? Was something wrong with me that I could feel that way about kissing Pharis when I was so recently convinced that I was in love with his brother?

Of course, Stellon was a married man now, and he’d said himself he never wanted to see me again.

And Pharis was so… so…

My own question popped back into my mind. Can I have more?

As we sat and ate in awkward silence, his forbidding expression was an answer in itself. It stifled all the questions that kept poking my mind about his real reason for kissing me.

“This is all very good,” I said in an attempt at making conversation. “The food purveyors in this village are quite skilled.”

Pharis gave a terse nod of agreement, still not talking to me or looking at me.

Simply to force him to speak, I asked, “What do you think of the wine? Was Solfrid right?”

Pharis finally slid his eyes in my direction. “It’s not bad, actually. It reminds me of the wine from upper Nordaris where my mother was from.”

Ah, here was something we could talk about.

“Have you been there?”

“Not for a long time,” was all he said.

Those guarded eyes shuttered again as they always did when the conversation threatened to unearth one of his closely guarded emotions.

“Tell me about your mother,” I urged. “You never speak of her.”

“No. I don’t,” he said as if it was a closed topic.

But there was something in his eyes I’d never seen before.

Something that told me maybe he needed to open it.