Page 14

“Wouldn’t dare,” Brianna says.

It takes me a minute to work my way through the crowd. Ladies’ night is in full swing, and The Rattler is packed. No surprise there. The guy-to-girl ratio in Hartsville is about ten to one—those are the results of my very (un)scientific study of our male-dominated ranching town—so you bet your bottom dollar that every cowboy, ranch hand, and farrier is out tonight, looking to get laid.

I’m not one to judge. I’m not sure I’ve ever needed a mind-blowing hookup more than I do right fucking now. The girl I’ve been in love with for twelve years—the girl I can’t touch—has been back in our hometown since the end of August, and being around her so much has made me more heartsick than I’ve been in a long-ass time.

Sally’s returned to Hartsville plenty over the past decade. She came back during her fall and spring breaks, or for a week or two here and there in between internships over the summers. But this is the first time she’s been back for an extended period since we were eighteen.

This could also very well be the last time she’s in Hartsville for a while. Since Sally got her dream job, John B talks all the time about the impact she’s going to make on the practice of veterinary surgery. I imagine that means she won’t have much time to visit us little people.

The idea that Sally might not come back foryears?—

Yeah, I’m gripped by the selfish impulse to finally make her mine.

But that’s not right, and it sure as hell ain’t fair. Sally and I were never meant to be. I’m a simple man who loves his family and his hometown. The Rivers have deep roots in Hartsville; my great-great-grandfather bought the land that became our ranch over a hundred years ago, and it’s been in the family ever since. My parents were incredibly proud of our legacy, and they were hell-bent on passing it on to my brothers and me.

I never want to leave. Even if I did, I’m not sure I could. I’d miss my brothers, even though they’re a giant pain in my ass most of the time. And leaving Hartsville would mean leaving the memory of my parents behind. They live on through the people and places in this town that they loved, and that’s something all the money in the world can’t replace.

Our family’s ranch fell into disrepair after they died. My brothers and I just couldn’t afford the upkeep, which is how we ended up working on Lucky Ranch—it was a way to make some money so we could hang on to our property. Broke my heart to see our land go untended, and we dreamed of bringing it back to life one day.

Now my brothers and I are finally able to make those dreams come true. When Mollie and Cash mended fences and fell in love, they decided to combine her family’s neighboring place, Lucky Ranch, with ours, Rivers Ranch, to form Lucky River Ranch. Mollie’s dad, Garrett, had struck oil on their property back in the ’90s, and he quickly became a rich man. Mollie and Cash are plowing some of that money into much-needed renovations on the Rivers’ side of the ranch.

Needless to say, I was born in Hartsville, and I’m gonna die here too. Still, part of me wonders what I’d do if Sally asked me to move with her to New York. Not like she ever would. But I think about it sometimes.

I find myself wishing I had kissed her that day down by the river twelve years ago. Maybe she would’ve kissed me back. Maybe we would’ve figured out a way to be together.

Maybe we’d still be together. Married. Living with our babies and our dogs in the home we made on my family’s ranch. But for that to happen, I’d have to get over this fear I have of letting people in. Of opening myself up to someone, even my best friend. The pain of losing somebody you love is fucking terrible. I was not okay after my parents died, falling into a deep depression that lasted for years. I got another tasteof that darkness after losing Garrett earlier this year. Time seems to be the only cure.

But losing Sally? Yeah, I don’t think I could survive that.

Living on the ranch is alsomydream. Sally doesn’t want to settle down, least of all in Hartsville. She’s too intelligent, too gifted, to live a quiet life in a small town. She deserves the world.

She does important work that literally saves lives. I have no right to claim her.

And yet that’s what I find myself doing in every fantasy, every daydream. I claim her like a caveman possessed by a horny demon. I’m not sure I’ve ever used my right hand more than I have in the past few months since Sally came back.

Still, I manage to play it cool when I find my way to Sally’s side. I’ve had more than ten years of practice pretending to not want her.

I cross my arms and lean a hip against the bar. “Who is he, and where can I find him?”

“Not funny,” she replies, even though her full mouth curves into a half grin.

“I promise I’ll only beat him up a little.”

“I’m going to beatyouup a little if you don’t go back to doing whatever it is you were doing over there.” She gestures to the three women eyeing us.

My pulse skids. Sally was watching me? Did I detect a little jealousy in her tone?

But that’s just crazy. Sally is practically family. Her parents, Patsy and John B Powell, took me under their wing after my parents passed, along with Garrett Luck, who was very much a father figure to my brothers and me.

Bet Sally considers me family too. Which is why she’d never be jealous of me talking to other girls. She doesn’t want me the way I want her. Period, end of sentence.

And that’s a good thing.

That’s therightthing.

Only the idea that Sally thinks of me as a brother ties my stomach in a knot. Why do I feel like that means I’ve fucked up somehow when, really, it means I’ve done everything right?

Aw, Sunshine, I’d do you right. Every time.