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I guess you don’t forget your first time, right?Especially when it had set me on the path I was to tread years later.

Diana squeezed my hand, and I dropped back into the conversation. “When I reflect on how I’ve been feeling these last five years… Were my feelings logical? Rational? Not really, but I don’t think that matters. Everything was twisted up in emotions—grief, anger… Okay, none of that is very healthy, but at least now I canrecognizethat, and I can start to deal with it. Because letting my guilt overwhelm me? That’s unsustainable. It sucks the pleasure—the happiness—right out of living.”

Tears trickled down her cheeks. “You will not believe how happy I am to hear you say all that.” She hugged me. “And now you can really move on,” she whispered, her tears dampening my cheek.

When she pulled back, I wiped her face with my napkin. “That was the intention. I’ve even done some things this week I’ve never done before.”

“Such as?”

“I went on a trail with two of the guests and Zeeb.”

She widened her eyes. “No shit.”

“Really. We went up on the Shafthouse trail.”

Diana cocked her head. “That gorgeous specimen of manhood out there, the one who caught my eye—washeone of the guests on that trail?”

Damn her. “Yes, yes he was.”

She grinned. “Okay, I like the sound of this new Robert. And what else are you gonna do that you haven’t done for a while?” Her eyes twinkled.

“Stop that.” I pointed to her plate. “Now sit back down and eat your lunch.”

“Whatever you say.”

She was still grinning, but I’d take that sassy grin over her tears any day.

I gave Diana a hug. “Thanks for stopping by. But please, don’t come running if you don’t hear from me for a day, okay?”

She bit her lip. “I guess I can relax a little now. Especially since we got it all out into the open.” Her eyes twinkled. “Well, as much of it as I needed to hear.”

“So… no more stopping by to check on me if a day goes by and you haven’t had a call?”

Diana grinned. “If aweekgoes by and still no call, I’m turning up with a whip, and your ass is in for it.”

“Duly noted.”

She kissed my cheek. “Do something new every day, no matter how small.”

I waved her goodbye as she went down the path, back to her car. She passed Matt on his way up the hill, and they exchanged a few words.

When Matt reached me, I put my hands on my hips. “Okay, what did she say?”

He chuckled. “She thanked me for lunch, that was all.” When I blinked, he laughed. “I know right? That’s awful tame for her.” He headed for the door. “I’ll make you some coffee.”

“Matt? Hold on a sec.” I gave him an inquiring glance. “How wouldyouknow Toby is spoken for? I didn’t think you’d spent all that much time with him.”

“I haven’t. I just… know.”

I arched my eyebrows. “And what is it you know?”

Matt coughed. “Diana’s barking up the wrong tree.”

“Oh, I see. Toby’s not into cougars?”

“Not exactly. I just know he’s not into… mares.” He flushed.

It took me a second or two to catch on.No way.