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Legnarolo

I wish Louie Cap could have seen this tribute to his life, the testament to the stolen love story that kept him from his son. When I left New Jersey, Uncle Louie’s grave was covered in the wilted flower arrangements from the funeral home and the church. A big pile of mums, roses, and gladiolas, Styrofoam rings, and, from the floral arrangements that honored him, wide ribbons glued with gold letters that defined him: husband, uncle, brother, K of C. Here in Avenza, he wasn’t celebrated, but he was never forgotten either. Mauro carries the wound of never knowing him, and Claudia put him in the past because there was no place for Louie Cap in her newfamily. Only Aunt Lil, his sister, his family, and I know all that Mauro and Claudia missed. And they missed everything.

“Your uncle is important to you, isn’t he?”

I nod. “Even in death.”

“Why?”

“He understood me.” I face Angelo. “The way you do.”

Angelo takes me in his arms and holds me. “I’m just trying to make things better,” he says. “Not that you need anyone to do that for you. I guess that’s my problem, Giuseppina. You’re the first woman I’ve ever met that had me wondering if I’m good enough. Do I deserve you? You have more joy than anyone I know. It’s why I’ve fallen in love with you.”

You’d think all that money I’ve pumped into Thera-Me would serve me in a moment like this. Hasn’t the entire hayride been about communication? And here I am, I can’t speak.

Angelo fills the silence. “The first time I saw you, I was in the garden, but the sun came out when you smiled at me. I thought, ‘Oh no. It’sher.’ I didn’t want to get to know you because I already knew what you would do to my life. I didn’t want to be happy because I thought happiness was my studio and my cell, a dish of spaghetti and a glass of wine, and my judgments. I would never have to make a commitment because I was not interested in being needed. But then you showed up with your American joy and your innocence and your complete lack of fear. I took the job in Milan, not because I wanted it, but because you didn’t stop me. I couldn’t bear the thought of being near you without your love, so I ran. When you came to Milan for Christmas, I had such hopes, and when you left me a pair of mittens behind for Dalia and Alice, I believed it was your way of telling me we would just be friends. I decided to go to Lake Como to tell you my feelings, and when I got there—”

“Bobby Bilancia.”

“Yes.” A cloud crosses over Angelo’s face.

“I’m not ready—”

Angelo places the tips of his fingers on my lips. “I know. But I am. I will wait.”

“How can you be so sure?” I ask him.

“Because you left me with one choice…to love you.”

The sun overhead is hot, but the air is cool, perfect weather for a fever.

“I’ll take you home now,” he says. Angelo takes my hand and leads me through the treachery of the old cemetery, the sharp edges of the marble, the claw feet of the oversized urns, the uneven markers that have shifted in the ground and the spring mud that has settled between stones. But I don’t trip or fall, as long as I hold on.

As soon asI’m back in the apartment, I call Aunt Lil to check on her. It goes to voice mail. It’s time for me to share the story with her. Her years watchingGeneral Hospitalwere good training for the tale I’m about to tell her. I leave a message.

Hey, Aunt Lil. Thinking about you! How are you? I’m doing fine, lots to tell you, but what else is new? Love you.

I feed Smokey and put on the coffee. My phone buzzes. It’s my brother.

“I’m sorry,” Joe says. “I only call if it’s urgent.”

Waves of guilt wash over me. “What’s wrong? Mom? Dad?” I sit down. I knew the Island could be fatal. One of them died when I wasn’t speaking to them and it’s all my fault.

“No, Mom and Dad are fine.”

“Thank God.” I exhale.

“I have sad news, though. Aunt Lil died.” A few moments pass, then Joe says, “Are you there, Jess?”

“I’m so sorry.” I fill with regret. “I just left her a message.” I wasn’t there. Uncle Louie would have wanted that.

“We just saw her at Sunday dinner. She looked good. You just never know.”

“I should go.” I feel my heart break inside my chest.

“Jess. She talked about you. She made a point to tell everyone that you have been calling her. She said it meant the world to her that you were in touch. You did the right thing, Jess. It didn’t go unnoticed.”

“Thanks, Joe.” But it doesn’t make me feel any better.